so i have been ****ed up the last 2 nights in a row. i don't like drinking anymore. i know there's so invisible line that as soon as i cross it i'm just ridiculous.
i don't usually smoke up, although weed is the only illegal drug i've tried, that often either.
last night i was drunk, tonight i'm ****in high. it's so weird. i feel like such a different person. i feel like right now i am the person i've always tried to avoid being. even the fact that i smoke cigarrettes. what the eff? i never used to or want to. for the first 24 of my 25years alive. why the eff am i suddenly smoking and having trouble quitting?
it's likei'm a reflection in the mirror. the exact opposite of what i was trying to achieve. it's messed. and confusing. and god i wish i could just stop caring.