Hi sunrise,

I do want to see her again. And my issues are manifold and largely unresolved. I am starting to think that what I an experiencing is a kind of 'insecure attachment' phenomenon. In kids that looks like this:

"Distressed on separation with ambivalence, anger, reluctance to warm to caregiver and return to play on return."

The abrupt separation was traumatic when it occurred and my younger self, who was just on the verge of really trusting my therapist and feeling welcome in her presence, seems to be where the feeling of resistance originates. I guess that makes sense. My last session, six months ago, ended with my T asking me "Do you think she would like to come back next time?" (As in this young me) To which I answered with a tentative "Probably" And the next thing that happened was her disappearance.
I spent weeks trying to reassure my young self, but I think she doesn't really believe much of what I say. Or maybe it is just that for 2 or 3 year-olds, six months is an eternity.