I'm sorry this happened, I can tell you're hurting just from reading your post.

I just want to say that I don't think it's helpful to think of it terms of you being "wrong", you were doing what felt right & honest & true to yourself in the moment when you sent the email. You apologized once you realized that it wasn't a very effective way of communicating what you wanted to communicate, which takes a lot of courage & more honesty. But you weren't "wrong" or "bad".