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Originally Posted by sunrise
FZ, I wasn't sure if you were serious in your post either, because to me, therapy is much more than learning to be genuinely honest with someone.
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I'd say (honestly
) I was relatively serious -- I was expressing a hunch. I still think so but I find I'm ill prepared to explain it or defend it.
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So I wasn't sure if you were kidding or not about thinking you would be done with therapy once you learned to be honest.
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I'm not currently in therapy and looking back, I can't even say that I learned to be particularly honest there.
However, when I currently start feeling any need for more therapy I find that some form of being honest with myself serves
(me -- YMMV) as quite a satisfactory alternative to it.
I'm not a huge fan of
Fritz Perls but I find some of the things he says in his books very interesting: for instance, that when someone he was working with would say they "can't" something or other, he'd ask them to try saying "I won't!" instead and that would often begin to resolve the issue for them. I can see where someone
(like me) could call that "learning to be honest" and where someone else could argue against calling it that.
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I am very conflict avoidant, so there is a part of me that feels any conflict with the therapist (or others in my life) could have dire consequences. Just because there is a disagreement doesn't mean it is the end of the world--that sounds so simple, but it has not been something I have truly felt or understood. Still working on it...
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Sounds to me as if you're learning to be honest instead of going out of your way to avoid conflict.
