(((((((((( Tomi ))))))))))

My whole post sounded more argumentive than I intended. Reading it, I can hear the "yelling" myself, so I can understand if it read that way to you. The angry tone was not intended and I'm sorry I couldn't find softer terms to reply with. Congratulations on controlling "the child"

Definately, yes, let's abandon the religious posturing. I don't want to go there any more than you.

I had intended to include the suggestion that as children, we were "trained" to be inactive. Reviewing our previous answers, what happened to us when we attempted to defend ourselves or reject the treatment of significant others, teachers, parents, peers? Didn't we learn that inaction was the only "safe" response?

Later, when we went out into life and faced controversies, what did we know about asserting ourselves? If we did try to assert ourselves, did we recieve the results we hoped for? Or did we over-react, under-react? Did we then reinforce our belief that "acting" in any way to clear our minds and find our place was useless?

Do you see the repetition of the word or variants "act"? "I shouldn't have acted that way" "I should have acted this way." These simple statements say a lot, don't they? Guilt, should have, action. What place does this word have in our treatment then?

Did we learn, as children, that no action would "save" us, or "help" us? Do we feel as adults that action is useless?

I'm just thinking. Thinking that thinking is the problem. As someone else recently posted elsewhere, actions like going to therapy, writing a journal, even meditating are equal to wallowing. The very idea of trying not to think about it, is thinking about it. You have to think about what you don't want to think about.

Could the process of acting on our feelings constructively be what we've been missing? I was stumped trying to think of how I would react to my step-mother today as an adult under the circimstances I endured as a child. Does that suggest that I still don't know how to act against intimidation? Is it possible that my adult life has been repetitious because I've never learned how to properly act in defense? We hear how many depressives are "stuck" at immature levels. Could it be because they haven't learned how to act constructively in their own behalf?

I know very little about behavioural therapy. Is that what it teaches us?

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius