I absolutely have the anxiety before seeing T, especially when I'm dealing with a crisis or when I am concerned about trying to figure out what to talk about....

I also have a lot of trouble with sharing, being open and honest about my feelings, experiences, etc. I can either talk about experiences "matter of factly", emotionally unattached....or I can't talk about them at all, because I just can't speak when I'm emotionally attached for fear of losing control, feeling things I don't want to feel....

...and I also hate the feeling of being "analyzed" like a lab rat, like he knows something about me that I don't know - or that he's going to figure me out before I do....and that it's going to be bad....

UGH. Sometimes I hate therapy.