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I have some times when I find certain urges hard to control. In the past some have been violent. It's very important NOT to give in to them. But you may need help to do this. If you feel out of control please don't hesitate to find someone to help you/ keep you from doing anything in the immediate present.
I think figuring out WHY you want/need to may be the key here. That's much easier said than done. Do you have therapy meetings in which you could try to figure some of this out?
*tries to think of ideas*... Are there any patterns in these urges? Is there anything that happened in the past that is similar or somehow connected to these urges? Does it happen just when you're upset or at random moments? Do they revolve around a specific type of person? Why are you scared of them?
Sometimes when I don't understand what I"m feeling I personally find journaling helps. For some people drawing does too.
*sending hugs*
*edit: also on a personal note, I know that alot of it was connected with dissociation, that may not be the case at ALL for you but thought I'd put it in
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Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
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