Yeah sashasiegal, that information helps a lot. Sounds like you have been doing a lot despite you feeling dead. You have learned the consequences like what happens when you stopped working at school and how hard you had to work to catch up. You learned what love is to you and what it isn't which is one of life's most painful lessons. That takes balls. Some people quit trying for love...that would be a big mistake. Take your new girl in cali...it is the digital age. You have all these ways of staying connected- use them to stay connected. See how much you can learn about eachother in 3 weeks time before you visit cali. Also, animals like your dog are great company for depressed people. As far as staying in your room, it is called isolating which lets the depression slowly take over. I still do this until i catch myself. As far as meds go, they take a while to build up in your brain...sometimes it can take weeks so when you get them, give them a chance to work. Sometimes pdocs can make some rude remarks.