You don't have to hurt yourself to go to the hospital. I have gone to the hospital before because I felt so tired of living. I wasn't suicidal but I was just so tired of everything and the future looked bleak. It sounds as if you have tried medications and therapists and feel like giving up on both. The thing is, finding the right combination of medications is very hard and you have to take the meds regularly. It can also be hard to find a good therpaist. But don't give up. The right therapist and med combos are out there, it just take time. You are far too young to quit trying now. Hang in there.