(((((((A Long Ways))))))))


I know what it's like to have someone drop you so suddenly ... it's very painful and very difficult to wrap your head around. I'm sorry you're going through so much pain. I wish there were some magic words to make it all go away.

What I can tell you is that one of two things is probably going on here. Your girlfriend dumping you just because you couldn't find a job when she herself is unemployed doesn't make very much sense, and I wonder if that's not an excuse she's using to push you away for some other reason. I don't know her or you, but I myself have done something similar. I'm not proud of it, but I have pushed away some pretty wonderful people because I was afraid the relationship was moving too quickly, was getting too serious, or that I was in a "dump or be dumped" state of mind. When I did that, I chose something to focus on, something that wouldn't ordinarily bother me but that I made my mind up to hate to the point that I just couldn't see that person anymore. I have no idea if that's what your girlfriend is doing, I just thought I'd offer my personal take on things in case it helped. I really think that if your girlfriend is asking for space right now, the best thing would be for you to give it to her. I know that's incredibly difficult and MUCH easier said than done, but if she is pushing you away for some reason besides the job thing, crowding her while she's figuring things out is only going to send her running the opposite direction.

On the other hand, if she really DID dump you because you're unemployed, then you might be the lucky one. She's showing her true colours by demonstrating that your employment status is more important to her than being with YOU, than loving you for you. I know it's not easy but try to focus on making something good from what you have now. For the first little while, you're really going to have to fake it, but after a while the desire to actually make something of yourself and your life without her WILL hit you, and you'll be able to learn and grow from this. Force yourself to focus on the other parts of your life -- your job prospects, for instance -- if not to take your mind off her than to remind yourself that life doesn't stop with your relationship. It may feel like that for a while, but the world does keep turning and you will get past this.

Sending lots of hugs.