Yes, it turns out T was right. She tried early on to explain to me that she likes to really concentrate on building the relationship between us before getting into deep work. Somewhere along the line, I did become more comfortable with T. I even told her last night, I trust her enough to tell her a lot, but I don't yet trust that she won't leave me, abandon me, even though she's given me no indication that she would ever do that. It's definitely helpful for me to talk all this through with her.

T asked me last night what she gives me. It was a fair question, since I kept asking her what she gets out of this relationship. I told her that she gives me attention, she listens, she sometimes does things that seem very caring, and that she makes me feel safe - I told her that's a biggie. So you're right, Blue - I don't know if I realized it, but I think I am still testing T, making sure that I am very safe with her, before we go back into the deeper work. Because that deeper work still scares me!