((((Sasha)))) If you keep on going on as if none of this is happening it will come back and bite you in the tail. I did the same thing until the day that I tried to do for myself and I STILL HID IT BECAUSE I COULDN'T ADMIT I COULDN'T HANDLE IT!!!!
You need to get help ASP and you need help that can be there for you for a bit into the future. It will not just go over, not if it's real MD. It will be back.
Sorry I come on like a pitbull in earrings, but I see myself in a lot of what you say and I would hate to see a kid with so much heart wasted in that fashion. Please keep in touch with us here! Hang on.