I just FAIL. I don't know what's wrong with me. Well actually, I do know what's wrong with me, and I know what I need to do to fix it, but I don't DO anything about it. I can't even throw a pity party because I don't deserve one. Everything that's wrong with my life, I've brought on myself. I have very few friends at school but it's because I do not make an effort to go out and socialize. I am so far behind in my work but I do not make the effort to get my readings done in time. I put things off for ages and I have no one to blame but myself. I can't get myself to just ... DO it. I need to bite the bullet and start getting my act together but instead I just SIT here, mostly doing nothing and wasting my time and letting my life fall apart. I just can't get myself to GO -- I care, but not enough to wake up an extra hour early to read before my lecture, or to go to society meetings or to start my homework with enough time to actually do it WELL. I hate myself. I shouldn't even complain because this is entirely my fault and I'm not doing anything to correct it. I'm just pathetic and if the world found out how badly I allow my life to unravel -- and I ALLOW this, it's not something that's just happening -- everyone would hate me and know how pathetic I am.