lily, you're not alone! I've always fantasized about sessions that never happen. I used to be disappointed and frustrated that therapy didn't come close to my fantasies. However, it was important to discuss them in therapy. Even if it's hard for you, I'd suggest telling your T. The stuff you fantasize about is important because it shows your needs, and that is material for discussion in therapy.

For example, I always fantasized that I was running around the room, throwing things. My T would have to hold me, and then I would cry. Talking about this fantasy didn't make it happen, but it helped to realize what my needs were. I also got some of that "need for drama fix" by talking about them, but that was "real", in the session talking, not in my mind.

Hpw long have you been seeing this T? Maybe you're not trusting her completely yet? If you are holding back from telling her your innermost feelings, then it makes sense that you are frustrated and distressed. We don't go to therapy to be "nice" but it takes a long time, sometimes, to get past that feeling. Once you start revealing more of yourself, and your T responds, that may be enough "drama" for you. I always craved intensity in my sessions, and I didn't always get it. When I did, it was both good and bad for me. Too much intensity/drama stirred me up too much. There's got to be a middle ground in therapy.

How to fix the distortions is a process. First, I think you have to discuss them with your T. Then, your sessions may come a bit closer to your fantasies, and satisfy you. Finally, you have to accept that there are limits to what your T can provide for you. What she can give you has to turn out to be "good enough" and it can be.

I hope some of this helps, though it's coming from my perspective, and may not be exactly how it is for you.