This is exactly what I was telling her but she will not listen. She has had a brand new attitude ever since I helped her with a down payment on a new truck she wanted back in May. Thats when she began seeking out other men. Well she did once before but she didn't go see the guy but she did give him the number to our house. He never called but still. Today she told me that the guy she dumped me over she found out he already has a woman and they are not talking anymore. She said she trusts me more than she does him. But I am beginning to believe that she doesn't want help and she is going to continue to want what she wants. Now she hates all men again because she can't trust "us". I wrote her an email today about her anger and told her that if she wanted to get counselling for it I would be willing to help her. She thinks she is just the greatest "Black Queen" on this earth now! She sent me 2 very wild emails. Here is one below. She is using the email to manipulate herself into believing that her anger is OK.

--------------------------------------------------------

I have been getting e-mail to this club for sometime now. I thought I
would send it to you.

angertoolbox] The A.N.G.E.R. S.M.A.R.T. Club can help you STOP
10/18/2003 11:24 PM ANGER from
destroying your life
Please respond to
angertoolbox-owner
FACT: Anger is a normal, healthy emotion.

FACT: Anger is designed to help us solve problems.

FACT: Anger is the leading cause of problems in relationships and
careers.

How can all three of these things be true at the same time. Because
how we manage anger or choose to express it is the problem, not anger
itself.

Here's another FACT: You can't stop anger!

It's true. Anger is programmed into our biological hardwiring and
serves a useful purpose in our lives. To stop being angry would be
counter to our existence and our ability to survive the challenges of
everyday life.

Everyone gets angry! Stopping anger, in our lives, isn't even
possible or the healthiest choice for you and me. So what's the
answer? Learning to use anger in the way it was intended to be used
and making it our servant rather than being controlled by it.

Most people use anger in a destructive versus a constructive manner.
They CHOOSE to retaliate and defend themselves instead of using it's
energy to find a resolution to life's problems.

Take the cycle of grief and loss as an example. When we lose
something or someone important to us we go through predictable stages
of shock, sadness, fear, and anger. Anger allows us to re-energize
our life, make important life changes, and go against some pretty
tough life situations.

Imagine driving up a steep hill in neutral. It wouldn't happen. You
might even go backwards To get up the hill, you need POWER! Anger
is a powerful energy and can be used to overcome some big hills in
your life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------