The description of your mood tells me you are quite upset about what is going on. Since you talked about your expectations before he moved in, I do not think you are being unreasonable. There is a trust issue here too. If you cannot rely on what he is telling you, I expect the problems you write about will only get worse.

Most states have an agency that will help those who are looking for a job to find one. Some testing is done to determine interests, aptitudes and qualifications for various jobs. After the testing, the applicant is notified of openings for those jobs he is qualified for.

If your friend has emotional issues, perhaps he needs to talk to a therapist. Importantly, you stand the risk of experiencing emotional difficulties without progress towards resolving this issue. You may even want to consider joint counseling at some point.

Another option is the one you suggest, stating what you expect of him, giving him a deadline and explaining the consequences of his failure to follow through.

What complicates your situation, of course, is how much you care for your friend. For years Ann Landers had a great response to readers that asked if she thought that they should get a divorce. Ann's question was: "Are you better off with him or without him?"

Only you can decide. Good luck.