(((((((nowheretorun)))))thank you for taking the time to reply. I have come a long way, I'm just missing therapy right now to be honest, my husband has had cancer and I've not been able to make the appointments. I don't look at others and thind sad losers or whatever, I don't do that, I don't even think they're looking at me and thinking 'freak' - it's not about anything like that to be honest. I've never even thought those thoughts, my issue here is about being ignored emotionally by family and friends. This thread is generally about me saying or doing things that may hurt others unintentionally .... I have opinions and would like to express them, this is where therapy is helping me, to be able to do that, but right now I'm finding that tough in case I hurt someones feelings .... it's about being liked, and yes I am learning to love myself, care for myself ... but it's hard when being ignored.