I understand you feelings but want to say that you have just as much right to life and everything good as anyone else.
I know it's hard to open up and your not used to it but you can do that here. This place isn't perfect but there area lot of good people who will support and back you up.
Great big caring hugs Forgotten,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell