I expected my whole life to turn around, that this depression "phase" would just end. It's just changed forms.

I've been finding myself being numb to things happening around me; I don't cry as much and I'm not as tune into my emotions as I used to be. I don't prick myself with the needle as much as I used to as well. Mostly I feel like zombie just pretending to be happy. Perhaps this is my preconcieved notion that I have to be the strong one?

More than ever I feel alone. I've only let two people in on what I'm feeling and even they don't know everything. No one beleives that I may be depressed and I need help because I pretend I'm happy all the time. I don't go out anymore, I've become reclusive. I used to have a huge group of friends and because of my newfound anti-social behaviors this has shrunken dramatically. This isn't like the girl I used to be.

/rant.