[quote=zilchhour;1195408]In such moments as you have stated, I feel some part of me really dies inside, a part that could not bear the pain./quote]
Once after I was released from the hospital following one of my more horrible "allergic reactions" (which are always accompanied by unbelievable depressions), I told my pdoc/T that it felt as if something inside me had died. He just looked at me without even blinking and said, "Maybe it was something that needed to die so that you could continue to live."

Sometimes patients who have languished for a long time being limited and frail due to heart disease, have recovered rather miraculously when the diseased part of the heart finally dies. The rest of the heart muscles then pick up the slack and funciton quite well no longer dragged down by the diseased part that has died.

Perhaps sometimes the parts of our psyches that cannot bear the pain of our depression any longer must die in order for the rest of our selves to be stronger in order to survive. Perhaps sometimes it is unrealistic hopes that are dying - we release them and are better able then to focus on the realities of our situation and more realistic methods of dealing with it. Just a thought.