I know the feeling I dont have family support, the only person who knows I self harm is my partner. I recently self harmed for the first time in over a year as well. I was so angry at my self for letting life get to me so badly. To make matters worse I normally hurt my self in a controlled mannar and scared me so much when I snapped out of my anger to realised I now had find a way to hide my cuts from my 4 kids. My partner did the lieing for me I cant lie not even for a good reason. My mum once saw cuts on my arms when I 14y and she did not even care to inquire as to why I was doing it. She simply said "dont do it again" that still makes me angry even today. My mum has no idea who I am as a person and if I try to tell her she will change the subject.
Its really hard for people to understand why people self harm. Its like an alcoholic having drink after being sober for years. Once you give in to self harm it take alot of strength to not do it again. Since I gave in to my self harm I've been dealing with constant thoughts about doing it again I have to remind my self its not a good idea, and if I went a year with out giving in I can do it again. Take one day at time one hour at time one min at time what ever it takes to get threw.