Ok, Jeans and T shirt are on just need to grab my bat and I'm out the door.

Getting scared of replies form me yet sweetie? Well here I go anyway.

Job-good

Alex- Really really good

Time for yourself at the hotel- better than being at home with the jerk.

Knowing your T is there even if it's not so great as you would like- Pretty darn good

Feeling like you are just a paycheck- Bad

Getting yelled at for something that isn't your fault- Bad

The jerk making his screw up your fault- Bad

Receiving no appreciation for a thoughtful gift- Bad

Knowing that being home with the jerk will put you on the edge of insanity AGAIN- Bad

Blowing money and whining about it when he isn't working himself- Bad

Having to listen to jerk yelling and sreaming not because of you but because he is a jerk- Bad

Feeling more anger and depression because of having to deal with the jerk and put up with his ungrateful, selfish, uncaring attitude- Bad

Having to deal with the jerk when you could be relaxing and enjoying yourself with Alex- Bad

Knowing that Alex is feeling all this tension and stress between his parents- Bad

Knowing that Alex is seeing his mommy suffer emotionally at the hands of a jerk- Bad

Physical pain and suffering- Bad but fixable in time and less stressful if life itself is less stressful.

Not having anyone to take care of you and your needs while you are going thru this difficult time with physical pain- Bad (especially when there is someone there that is SUPPOSED to be helping you)

Are you seeing a pattern? It all revolves around ONE bad thing in your life. Every normal stress is made worse because you have to deal with him on top of it.
All those things you feel about yourself, that you aren't worth anything because you don't bring home a paychek....what about him? He not only doesn't work and support his family but he makes his son hurt and is so rotten abusive to his wife it's sickening.

The key Mary Alice to getting better and living a good, stable, healthy life is to cut out the really bad things in your life. Decide what isn't working for you, what makes your life harder or sometimes unbearable and let it go.

What is he giving you? A relationship is about love and caring and supporting. Not about pushing and taking and abusing. He gives nothing to you and takes away every shredd of life you have. To take care of him, fulfill his needs. Drop the garbage at the curb Mary Alice. Your life will be so much better if you clean out the house of the trash. You'll be able to breathe and walk around in peace and so will your son.

Ok, done......you know I care :O)- Good

Hugs sweetie,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell