Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoda
I need a subforum for dysfunctional families because most of my relatives are. I guess the ones that impact me the most are my codependent sisters and mom. They all live together in one big unhappy mess. My mother is passive aggressive, my youngest sister is the bossy one who always gets her way and shares her advice/opinions whether it is wanted and my older sister is a recluse.
Veteran's day reminded me of my attempt to do a good thing that only brought criticism from my family. My step-dad (the good dad who loved and raised me) died when he was only 56 years old. That was the reason I became a paramedic and then cardiac RN because I didn't want other young children to lose their dads (my sisters were 8 & 9 y/o at the time). My dad served in WWII. My mom wanted him to have a military funeral but the local whoever-they-were said they only got allocated one flag per month and had already used theirs. This seemed so wrong to me. I thought about it for a long time and earlier this year I wrote a letter to my senator telling him about my father and how wrong it was that his widow never got his flag. Within a few weeks they sent me a flag that had been flown over the capitol in his honor and a nice letter commending his service. Thinking I had done something good I took the letter and flag to my family and gave them to my mom. She was like, how nice, hmmm what's on TV. My youngest sister read the letter and her only comment was, they spelled his middle name wrong. Well, I spelled his name wrong. I am still not sure if it is Emory or Emery. I was so disappointed in my family's response to my trying to right a wrong done to my dad.
A few years ago my older sister got a war medal that should have been given to her great, great grandfather and everybody was so excited about that but I feel like a big nothing in their eyes.
I think they think I am a sub-par person because I have PTSD and have not worked for ten years but when I talk about wanting to go back to work they treat me as though I no longer CAN work. I know I need to study and I have been going to the medical library and catching up on stuff. I have updated myself on the standards of care for ACLS and would like to teach that again. When I mentioned to my mom that I thought I might like to go to anesthesia school (long time goal - got accepted 16 years ago but didn't want to go with a toddler) when my son leaves the nest and I know I am bright enough but worry do I have the energy she simply dismissed the idea and said, I don't think you do [have the energy].
Is it them or is it me that is the froot loop??
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I feel like I we come from the same sort of family.... My mum and sister are buddy buddy my younger brother gets bailed of fianacial mistakes by my mum and his dad(my uncle, my dads brother, my mum current husband)... For years my mum told me I was depressed and get help she also called me a hypercondract and attenstion seeker ect ect. When I finally told her the Dr did diagnoise me as depressed she told I was not depressed and should not be on medication (I'm confused lol). people say I'm loude yet you put me in a room with my family and you'll be hard pressed to hear me voice and even if I try to talk no one answers me I have serious thoughts about wether I'm invisable all of a sudden. In recent years I started staying in my room and playing on the computer because it was pointless trying to interact with my family and my mum use to complain that I being rude. On my 29th b'day my mum and sister had a full on verbal bashing about my life and the way i raise my kids ect ect the fact that I use charts to guild there daily rutine and behaviour and more. I went to my room and cryed my self to sleep before everyone had left my house that night thay did not even know I had left the room till they decided they better go home. I heard them make a comment as thay walked out of the house cause they thought I was sleeping but I always wake up when the front opens.
That was the last straw with my family I told my phycolgist he told me to set out certain boundries with them so I did I told them the new rules/boundies and said if thay could not follow them thay could not see my kids. My mum is controlling when my now 14 was a baby she use to waltz in to my house tell me she was taking my baby and walk out with him and was too scared to say no to her. Every time I say no to mum she shuts me out her life. She was starting to get back to a contolling phase again I had lost control of my kids when my mum and I were in same room with my kids my kids acted like I did not exist just like her. It hurt so bad to tell my mum she had to follow the rules or not see the kids but it seem to have worked she ignored me for year moved to a different state but now we are back talking she makes it clear to my kids I'm incharge (most of the time) I can tell she struggles and it still hurts to think I hurt my mums feeling even thoe she hurt mine all my life.
Your absulotly NOT a froot loop.....some parants just cant seem to give unconditional love I swear. My phycologist say I have to learn to give to my self what i want from my parents but I still cant make it stop hurting that my parents just cant love me and show me they love me.