I agree with Heidu, Mary Alice. The cutting and thinking of suicide are because you hurt and are angry. The anger needs to be directed at the source of what's causing it, (primarily HIM), and not toward yourself.

Expressing anger constructively is a huge challenge for many people, (I know it's a real biggie for me, thus the chronic depression), and, as Heidu suggests, cutting the toxicity of your husband's abusive and neglectful treatment of you out of your life just may have to be the route you take, (and I know that's not an easy decision to make).

Will have you in my thoughts and prayers (even more than usual)today.

Warmest regards.

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>