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Originally Posted by Jess Petty
idk, it's all complicated.
she say's that i don't talk enough. but the thing is. the only reason i was so
open with her when she was just be Best friend was because "duh". she was
my ****ing best friend. now that she's my girlfriend i can't tell her about the
hot volleyball chick that stares at me every time i leave the campus library.
or how i tried cocain for the first time a few days ago. etc.
if i told her about the volleyball chick when she was my best friend she would
have told me to go for it. not something she would likely say as my girlfriend.
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lol, probably not. you know, one of the best things i've learned from hanging out on this site is that it helps to just communicate right where you're at. so yeah, you don't want to be telling her about the hot chicks that are staring at you but you could tell her that you're trying to figure out how this works now that you guys are dating and it's weird not to share everything with her like before when you were just best friends. actually, i think it'd be funny if you used the volleyball chick as an example, but if you don't think she'd find that funny then definitely don't say it.
you guys are going through a big change so if you feel a bit off-balance i think that's pretty normal. the fact that you share an apartment makes it even more intense. i think if you weren't a bit off-kilter it would be pretty surprising.
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if i told her about the coke while she was my best friend she would most likely
have called me an idiot and punched me. but as my girlfriend i don't even know
what she would do.
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i'm not sure what to tell you on this one. part of me says just be who you are and tell her but yeah she may not like it. i do think it's better to be honest though. i may be reaching here but does your doing the coke have anything to do with feeling a bit stressed about being in a relationship with her? you don't need to answer that here and i may be totally off on that. if that is the case though then maybe go work out or do something else instead. i know, you're in college and experimenting but just be careful, ok?
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and all of these thoughts run through my head constantly
so when i am with her i seem distracted, because i am distracted. and i love
her and want this to work.
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just tell her this stuff which is where you're at right now.
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but she put me on a pedestal every since i knew
her. and now that we are dating i don't want her to find out that im not
perfect. espeacially since im the guy she decided to lose her virginity to.
****.
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i understand what you're saying. even though she may very well have you on a pedestal right now she does know you're not perfect. she knows you smoke after all.
seriously, she's known you for so long i'm sure she knows you're human even though she's crazy about you. she'll come down from the cloud she's on in time.
enjoy it while it lasts, eh? i'm sure she wouldn't want you to be feeling stressed or pressured about all. i doubt she'd want you to be worried about what to talk about for fear of disappointing her. again, i think if you tell her all this you'll be able to see she's still your best friend too even though things are different now.
as for the virginity thing it is a big deal and it isn't. what i mean is it does sound like she loves you very much and is probably thrilled things have worked out between you and it does mean a lot that you are her first. but, sometimes i get the impression guys think this is even a bigger deal than it is for women. when i hear guys talk about being someone's first, including the first guy i slept with, i think they do exaggerate the importance of it even though it is important. they kind of act like we want to make a bronze cast of them and start bowing down. i mean, love is one thing but you guys aren't God or anything. sorry
you sound like a good guy jess. just keep talking to her. i bet she'll understand and is feeling some of the same feelings about not wanting to disappoint you too. just remember she is still your best friend even if it's a bit different now.