Thanks NowheretoRun,

It does feel very powerful, a release, a sense of healing, and it is allowing me to be true to myself. I have done things I am not proud of, regardless of the reasons why, but apologizing for my part, gave me a reason to hold my head up high when I see him again.

Yeah, I could have told him if the things I wrote about embarrassed him with his friends and family, maybe he shouldn't have been doing those things to begin with. I know my currentT believes this and feels he deserves a little humility. She is sure he has learned a lot from me, and probably won't make those same mistakes again as a T.

But I feel I am starting to let this go, after 2 1/2 years of seeing him, after 2 1/2 years since I fired him. This is the most painful thing I have ever had to deal with, he really hurt me. But because of my new insights with EMDR, I see that he was scared and reacted like he did because of that. He really needed supervision or a T himself, but I think T's who have been practicing as long as he did, feel too proud to do that.

So yes, I do have a case with the APA where I filed the first stages of my complaint, but I won't continue it. He did a lot of wrong things but from a humanistic standpoint, I can't ruin him because I don't think he really intended to hurt me on purpose, he was just scared of his feelings. I just can't hurt him like he hurt me.