Hi Velq and Welcome to PC! We're glad you are here and reaching out for information to help yourself.

I think TheByzantine is right. Admitting that you don't know how to change but want to is the first step in making change. The next step is to get professional help to find out why you need to be controlling and help in learning how to change that behavior. This is something you can do yourself or maybe you can go to couples counceling as well.

As long as you are dedicated to yourself in making real tangible change, it will happen for you. I'm wishing you well in your journey.