((((((((dalila)))))))) it's hard. maybe if you throw your energy into something constructive like cleaning or gardening or writing or painting or anything that burns it off but in a good way. sometimes when i feel this way, i like to think about other people to take my mind off my disgust with myself. perhaps thinking about the friends you've made on PC and writing their names down and a list of good things about them will help you not think about the bad things you may be thinking about. then you could always give that list to that person and help brighten their day. or it could just be a mental list, if you want.

most anything that gets you thinking outside the endless cycle of thoughts in your head will be useful, or at least it is for me. stay safe and feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk.

-shadow