hi uhhidk,

You said you feel like you "need to be strong and just deal with it." I have felt that exact same way myself. I put off getting help for my depression for a long time, living in a world of misery I didn't have to live in, especially not alone.

I would suggest that "being strong and dealing with it" IS what you're doing when you get help. If you broke your leg, you wouldn't just "suck it up", would you? You'd go to the doctor and get it put into a cast. Depression is the same way. It's not something you can usually fix by yourself and it's DEFINITELY not something anyone should have to go through alone.

It IS very scary. I still don't know how I managed it, myself. But I'll tell you something ... it was a HUGE relief when I finally got a diagnosis. It was great to be told that the way I was feeling WASN'T MY FAULT and that there were actually treatment options to help me feel better. When I went to the doctor, I brought my best friend along for moral support. She sat with me the entire time, and it's really because of her that I didn't give in and bolt at the very last minute. Is there anyone you can bring with you to your appointment for support? It might be less scary if you don't do it alone.

Lots of luck, and keep us posted on how you're doing.