Not that you dont already know but marriage is hard work. I dont believe in just throwing away a spouse and marriage. I think you leave when you can look yourself in the mirror and say " I did everything in MY power to try to save the marriage." If he wont go to counseling, what is stopping you? set the example and he probably will follow. Not only that but the therapist can help you to talk to your husband in a way that may get through to him. Dont quit because its hard. Let yourself remember the good times you both have had and fight for your marriage. It takes two people to make a marriage good or bad. Work on the only person you can control, which is you and treat your husband with respect (even when you dont feel like it) and watch what happens. Good luck