this is my first post in the SI section, i only just discovered this site. i used to SI when i was younger, scratches or biting myself, then i started cutting when things got weird and worse. ive managed to stop myself for about 2 months now, last time i think i really freaked out my friend.. i got a lil drunk and put myself into my mind set that makes me SI. anyway, just after i stopped it was all i thought about, then nothing. it was a sort of bliss, then 2 weeks ago i got a girlfriend and my thoughts are coming back, because im hearing all my other friends troubles. its like when im unhappy the world functions properly and people are happy and when i become happy/happier everything else seems to slip into chaos. which pulls me back out of my state of better life. this is happening again, i don't want to hurt my gf and i don't want to SI again but i do, and this has happened to many times before. i wanted to keep my record of 2 months and keep it going forever. can anyone relate? at all, id like to now if its just me.