Gingerkat... May I quote... "I just want to know WHEN to call it quits?"

You answered your own question by saying that you ARE going to call it quits. Now, you heard what I said in chat last night and maybe that'll work, but somehow I'm not so sure. You guys need to have a true heart to heart and really pour out your emotions to him, tell him how it's making you feel.

You deserve so much better than this and you have the capacity to make true love happen because you are such a lovable person and such a beautiful woman both inside and out and I'm not gonna stop telling you this because it is so TRUE!!!!!

Your Husband needs to make more of an effort, you do everything in your power to make it work and the ideas I gave you last night were ideas to make it more obvious to him how much of an effort you're making, so that he sees that he needs to make more of an effort too.

With the incident on Tuesday night, was he supportive at all? Was he there for you? Did he come see you or cuddle you and ask what made you do it? Did he tell you that it would all be okay in the end and that he's always there for you?

Of course marriage, as with any relationship is a two way thing and from what I've heard, he's not making much of an effort. Just "living together" is not good enough, no doubt you are both feeling bored, unwanted, unloved and like you want out. I can certainly see that you want out.

I know I'm only 18 and a lot of people probably think I don't know much, but I've had an experience like this. I say give the ideas I gave you a try, for say... Two weeks maximum and if he still doesn't get the message then I think it's time to give yourself the love and self care that you deserve and take the leap out of the relationship.

YOU haven't failed if this is what it comes to. YOU have ried your hardest, made as much effort as you possibly can, gone to therapy, been open to marriage counselling and advice from others. YOU are trying YOUR best to make it work. HE is the one that is sitting back and watching you struggle, doing nothing to help.

I hope the ideas I gave you give him a real kick up the arse. If not then you've always got people here, including me, to talk to anytime. No matter what happens, just remmber that you're trying your best and ou are NOT a failure. Look at what an amazing person you are! He is a fool if he can't see that. A complete and utter fool.

LOts of love and hugs going out to you.



You are loved.