Ok thanks. I also know that in my family of orgin between my siblings they all have these kinda issues that trigger the anger in me. I have one sister who fakes seizures and or cancer and or anything like being paralyzed for attention and or pain pills. I have another brother who a week or so ago tried to "kill" himself and spent time in the hospt then may be in jail now for threatening to kill someone at his job which got him fired. Another sister who has been off meth for almost three years but lied in every shape and form and I have had her children for 12 years, and the other sisters child for two or so. My brother who hurt himself he never calls unless its a crises never goes to the places I found for him that were free. So I have not heard from him. He haas a 4 year old boy who lives with his mom and I have no contact wih him. This babies mom doesnt want anything to do wih my brothers side of the family for good reason but unfortunalty that includes me.... becasue she doesnt know how awesome I am. LOL
SO I just keep going keep doing the hard work. My oldest neice I adopted has fetal alcohol syndrome my littlest neice was meth exposed had seizures and myoclonic jerks atonic drops and was in a wheelchair for a year she has a crooked airway that leads to severe breathing issues, they both have had attachment issues and behavior issues. My oldest nephew who is almost 19 now he was a high school drop out at freshman credits and he is now a college student he was so skinny and under weight and he is healthy now, he isnt perfect he has his moments. What I am saying is I have done this and I have to keep going and I get frustrated. I have given my life to care for the kids.
I have to do the hard work. I have to get better I have to., I have three kids who depend on me for so much. I know that my issues are spilling out like honey and covering this girl and its so sticky its impossiable to get it all off her.