I am disturbed at how your T handled your angry email. It sounds like she took it personally, when T's are supposed to see beyond that and help you process your feelings. I thought T's are supposed to understand transference and not take things personally. And if they are triggered that is their stuff and need supervision. I don't think, however human, that her issues should come into play here. Therapy is about you and you should not have to worry about hurting your T's feelings. I would feel the same way as you do, that I am being punished for expressing my feelings when that is exactly what I am supposed to be doing in therapy! I could understand her wanting to limit the email, but the phone contact? It really sounds like she is too enmeshed with you and is reacting to that realization by tightening up the boundaries. If that is true, it is her stuff and not your fault. It's always the T's responsibility to maintain proper boundaries.

I'm also very disturbed at the way she greeted you, all red-faced and teary-eyed? Unless it had absolutely nothing to do with your email and she was just having a bad day, that just seems so wrong. I'm sorry that you had to go through that, especially when it took guts to walk in there and face her after sending that email.