Quote:
Originally Posted by TayQuincy
I am disturbed at how your T handled your angry email. It sounds like she took it personally, when T's are supposed to see beyond that and help you process your feelings. I thought T's are supposed to understand transference and not take things personally. And if they are triggered that is their stuff and need supervision. I don't think, however human, that her issues should come into play here. Therapy is about you and you should not have to worry about hurting your T's feelings. I would feel the same way as you do, that I am being punished for expressing my feelings when that is exactly what I am supposed to be doing in therapy! I could understand her wanting to limit the email, but the phone contact? It really sounds like she is too enmeshed with you and is reacting to that realization by tightening up the boundaries. If that is true, it is her stuff and not your fault. It's always the T's responsibility to maintain proper boundaries.
I'm also very disturbed at the way she greeted you, all red-faced and teary-eyed? Unless it had absolutely nothing to do with your email and she was just having a bad day, that just seems so wrong. I'm sorry that you had to go through that, especially when it took guts to walk in there and face her after sending that email.
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((EVERYONE))
I can always count on the PC community for such thoughtful/real advice.
I also remember that I kept trying to explain to T that the email just wasn't about her..many many times. She kept telling me that it was all about our relationship. I did feel that she took it personally, when that wasn't my intent.
T also remarked that she has her hands tied behind her back because no matter what happens now, she will always appear as my Mother of origin. T said that it's so frustrating, but it's is the only way for therapy to work.
I don't know. I'm just so confused and don't know how to act in a therapeutic relationship. I feel as if I have to do everything right and have all of the answers because clearly my T isn't all up to snuff. On top of this, i don't even know where my life is headed or have a since of security in who I really am. I'm 23 yrs. old and began therapy last year for the very first time with college T, who then referred me to my current T. As many issues as we have had, we were able to work through them and I do love my current T so much. I think I wrote in an earlier thread that most times when I leave T, I feel like my cup runneth over with love and happiness. I do feel a strong connection with T as she has so many endearing traits that I simply adore. On the other hand, there are times like this where I wish I had known more about therapy to have interviewed a few T's. It's just such a confusing process. Thanks for your advice
