Quote:
Originally Posted by Shangrala
Thanks, Michele....
But you know...I've disassociated myself from my family forever now. Like you, I have nothing to do with them, (and mine family is HUGE...lol). The only sibling I have anything to do with anymore is my younger sis, of 3 years, Donna. But even she is so stuck in the effects from our upbringing, mostly cuz of mom, that she can't see ANY good in living.
I don't seek approval from her, exactly. I just maintain a sissy bonding with her, cuz we've always been close.
Although, I've always been the centerpoint of my entire family, mostly with all siblings....was the one who they all went to to find out what's what with the other, instead of them going to the other themselves.
I was always the "friendly" one amongst us all. I was always the one keeping peace...."finding a reason TO keep the peace". That's me....Merciful Mary....holds true to this day.
But is this really all about the past and family? This is where I sorta reach that same barrier. I've physically removed the source of origin of (what I think may be) the problem, yet the psychological effects remain?
Yes. I do need to get over the effects of mom.
Kristian's right. Focus on what IS, and not what was. Now, to do just that. Not easy.
Thanks again, Michele....Yourra sweetie. 
Shangrala
(I so love "Happy Face"....lol) |
This probably sounds crazy, but this is how I feel about my past issues. I had to really learn and still learn that my family is who they are. I think with dysfucnction, people don't realize what kind of dysfunction is within them. Some people do know they are dysfuctional. Until they really have a desire for themselves to heal what they need to heal, the dysfunction will still carry on within them.
Here is a good example. My mom was abusive with my sister and I. She called us every name you can think of. I hated this about my mom. I knew that her angery energy came from my grandpa. My grandpa would beat her when she was growing up. My mom never went and got treated for her energy towards her dad. As a result of this my sister and I paid the consequences for what my grandpa did to my mom. I love my mom, but my mom is really the most miserable person I have ever known.( By the way, she passed when I was 15.) The child in me knows she hurt me, but the adult in me says she was hurting, and did the best that she could with what she had. If my mom was living now, I would probably have some kind of relationship with her, but I would not let her treat me the way she treated me as a child. This is the reason why I really won't talk to my family. Everyone gets off on making the other feel bad. You can forgive people, but choose not to be around them. IMO you need to heal the past to live in the present. You can't just push things that bother you in the back of your mind.
