I hear you and can relate, I am Bipolar-II, oldest brother Bipolar-I, not new to this

I understand too, that those around us that do not care to accept that a loved one has a mental disorder, or even learn more about the disorder to help their loved one, is more frustrating.
I think it would be in your best interest to keep in touch with your pdoc about your meds., though I understand different meds and/or dosages work differently for each individual or a percentage of some, it's not always a "one size fits all" sort of thing.
I personally didn't do well with Effexor and/or Depakote, fatigued me so badly I fell asleep at the wheel 3 times while on that treatment. Switched meds. and over brief time it all came together, yes, progress is possible.
When we are unstable, we do not "see" ourselves that way, that is the slyness of this disorder. After DX, I felt like I'd never get back on track, but in time with following pdoc's treatment plan and keeping him up to date with any changes, things progressed. Unfortunately to this day, my husband has no idea what hell it can be, to walk in the shoes of a bipolar. I kind of gave up expecting him to understand, I just got more depressed and agitated at times, talk therapy with a mental health professional was a better option.
Check in with your pdoc, discuss other medications that may be more for you, usually can get an idea after the first 3 weeks if the medication(s) are taking effect, in a positive or negative way. At that point, a doc will look at dosages, if not right adjustment or discontinuing and starting a new one may be a new option.
Keep faith, things have a way of working out, this I have learned. Odd for me to say that, I was a person that had no or little faith in life, things changed, time passed and somehow I found it.
PLease feel free to drop in and chat with us, post, or just read our forums. There are so many warm, compassionate, members here that you shall meet.
Take care now,
DE
(((((((((( MentalPollution ))))))))))))))))))))