Deli, you sound like me 10 yrs ago. I had an excuse for every suggestion people gave me as to why i couldn't do this or that. I was really just scared! I was really stuck for a long time. You have to take the steps to move forward in your life. And they are scary. Sometimes we feel it's better to stay in a miserable situation because the alternatives could always be worse...that is always how I thought nomatter how bad things got. I was so afraid of uncertainty. My T says go towards the fear. If you are looking for the ideal set of circumstances before you will take any action, then you will be stuck forever. There are going to be pros and cons to every situation. Maybe you could make a list of the pros and cons of each option available to you and decide which is the best way to go from there.