That's such a heartwarming post, sidony. Thank you.
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he said that the reason I didn't find some things annoying about him (I'm virtually never annoyed at him, I think he's great) was because I "viewed him compassionately."
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I had not thought of that--great insight. I think I view my T with compassion also.
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Later on that evening, long after the session, I remembered and felt stupid for that answer. But then I remembered him talking about viewing him compassionately and decided he probably viewed me compassionately too.
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Wow, what a great realization! I need to keep that in mind--I can see it would be comforting and empowering also. It's OK to let down the mask when we're with people who view us with compassion. I think that knowledge might make it easier...
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He said what we were talking about was at the heart of therapy, that it was something that felt good to both of us, that he was proud of me, and some other related stuff about how my being able to develop love for him might make it more likely for me to seek it in real life.
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I have felt that way about my T too, that being able to feel love for him showed I might be able to do it in real life too, with a new partner. That has been very healing for me (coming on the heels of leaving a very difficult marriage), because it showed I I still had the capability to love. I had not known that before therapy--I thought maybe I was damaged for life. Therapy showed me I can still love, that I am just fine. It also has shown me what a wonderful thing it is to have emotional intimacy with someone, and does make me want to have more of that in my life.
Those are such great sessions, sidony.
Thanks for stopping by. (See, you are not being shunned!).