Kaika,

I think you expressed yourself very well. I'm pretty sure I understood exactly what you were talking about.

I came from the hippie generation. Now, don't laugh. (I can hear you laughing, now STOP! ) You know, flower power, free love, groovy baby, beads, LSD, Vietnam War, Love the One You're With, all that stuff.
I can honestly say, it permitted a lot of freedom to do what the hell you wanted to do as far as casual sex. It provided nothing, I mean NOTHING, to support real, solid, quality, meaningful, trusting, lasting friendships. And that was a shame.

Friendship always was and is still the most important part of any relationship. As far as missing out on something because you are not having a sexual relationship, sweetheart, it only gets better as you get older. That's the one thing we women enjoy over the men. We reach our prime in our forties!

By saying that you are 'too scared to love' I think you're where a lot of us have been at times. But someday, when the timing is right, you're going to take the leap and tell someone special how you feel. And there won't be any turning back.