Dear alittlehoshime ~ I am so sorry for the way that you are feeling right now, and I do so identify with it. As you seem to know, the bright side will come around again in it's time. And treatments are always being improved by those researchers who care about us. I understand the torment of the negative thoughts and feelings of being pursued by evil. You are not the only one, and this is just depression whispering to you and creating your dark thoughts.

I know how irritating it is for people to give "advice" on how to deal with depression, and I know that no such advice constitutes a "cure", as some of the non-depressed would have us believe. But such "advice" can at least be helpful in pushing back the darkness that we both know so well. Be out among others when you can. A simple conversation or little laugh helps the mood a bit. Do what constructive activity you can, even if this is only taking a shower and dressing. If you can attend group activities of any kind, this can be good. Good company fights the isolation that allows the negative thoughts to form.

Think of all the good things about yourself, even if this means relying on what others have said about you; and do small kindnesses - so you will remember that you are worthy - one of the good guys.

Read posts here and respond if you can. It is like reaching through cyberspace to take the arm of someone else, as though you were both running from a storm and the other person had fallen a bit behind. You will find many arms reaching out to take your own in response, and occupying yourself in this way can be so therapeutic. Caring about you ~ billieJ