Bluemoon, i'm sorry, i find it really difficult to give hugs out, even online...but i do really feel for you. I understand that feeling of being utterly exhausted and sick to death of everything. And i don't have a relationship nor kids to look after....i have no idea how you manage all that?! I barely cope with my own selfish needs!! I've been reading your posts in the therapy forum and i know you have been doing a lot of very hard work. I don't post much because i find it very scary because i generally find myself entwined and then my automatic reaction is to run!!.....but i have been reading, learning and listening. I think there are a lot of silent members of this forum who take a lot from what you write, so please don't underestimate yourself. Having said all that, i understand what it feel like to be on the edge of coping and to want to sleep till forever. It sounds like you need a break, some 'you' time, some time to just not think or worry or feel. You can't do it all, all the time! I hope you are able to offer yourself some time to just be. I go for a coffee on the weekend, it sounds really pathetic to have no other plans but a drink by myself.....but sometimes it is exactly the space i need, i quit trying to be everything and just....i dunno really....i guess..drink the coffee??! I'm making no sense, but i do hear you.