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lynn09 · Nov 16, 2009, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sannah

Sunny, I think that a lot of the protecting that inner child is protecting her today, right now. To do this, being aware and being in the moment is important. If she feels scared right now you help her feel safe right now. Referring to your other thread where you talk about your overwhelming anxiety, this anxiety is what keeps us from living in the moment. When you are so anxious it is much better to live in the past, the future or a fantasy world because the present is just too overwhelming.

To emotionally mature you have to figure out what your issues are first and then work on them/problem solve. It is like doing the development that should have been done then and doing it now.

Many moms who don't protect their children from sa were abused themselves. For them to protect their children they would have to come to terms with their own abuse and they have not. They continue to deny their issues so they deny their children's issues too.

Your dad was most likely abused also. People who abuse are very wounded people who are making very poor choices.

Thanks, (((((Sannah))))) - This is right on the money ((((((Sunny)))))) - I could not have explained the concept and process I was talking about better or more concisely myself! (Everyone already knows that I rarely explain anything concisely! ). Sunny, I really like how Sannah put it: "...anxiety is what keeps us from living in the moment" - this would also prevent us from making the emotional child feel safe in the moment.

Raising your emotional child into a mature emotional adult is a process - there's no way to map out the exact steps that you are going to have to take beforehand - it's the process of self-discovery and self-determination that was never allowed to occur naturally - so each issue identified and resolved helps to identify other issues and the necessary next steps.

I'm so glad that you have an appropriate mental health team to assist you in this process - it is hard, but worthwhile work. And I'm so glad that there are so many caring and knowledgable people here at PC to help along the way.