It is indeed good that kind people like Bama and Skyirks take the time to respond so kindly to your situation.
They are good people.

I on the other hand…

You realize I hope that you are not a victim of this world? You are a volunteer. You signed up for almost everything that has happened in your life sense you became an adult. And the position of victim is an excuse to wallow in our misery. If we hope to get sober, and stay that way we have to stop that.

When your wife walked out on you, you took that abandonment as license to drink as much as you wanted. No wife to give you the “look” every time you wanted to get loaded. You might look at why she left in the first place. We always ask ourselves “What was my part in it?” Setting aside entirely her part, what did you do to facilitate this breakup?

Then when the drinking ain’t working so well, you check into a rehab. Then you cross paths with this therapist, and the love sparks just start to fly. You said yourself, “I knew it was wrong.” But you went ahead and did it anyway.

Volunteer.

She being married with kids, tells you she will leave her husband and break up her happy home to move in with an alcoholic right out of treatment. Does any of this strike you as a little far fetched?

Then you take it one step further, not only are you screwing around with a married woman, but you are jealous when she goes home to her family.

Volunteer.

And lo and behold, you find out that not only hasn’t she been honest with her husband about you, she hasn’t been honest to you about some other guy. And you were devastated? What part of this didn’t you see coming. You are a 50 year old man.
Then apparently you or the other guy blow the whistle on her, and everybody gets fired.

Again Volunteer.

She bobbed right back up to the surface and you are resentful as can be about that. How dare she have a happy life when I don’t. You need to know that resentments kill more alcoholics than any thing else.

When you started drinking after your wife left, you did so willingly. When the therapist and you got together, you did so willingly as well. And now, you are willingly wallowing in your self made misery, and it’s no fun.

You have no control over that woman, no control over whatever boards pulled your license, and if you are an alcoholic, you have no control over whither you drink or not. It seems when we look at it closely, we have little control over anything.

If you post on an alcohol recovery site, you should expect to hear from other alcoholics telling you exactly what you need to do to get better. First, you need to get up off your pity pot, and start making some real and concrete changes in your life. Stop crying about yesterday and get into action now.

If you want the details on this plan of action, let me know. Buy remember, if you do nothing, the same old crap you are sitting in right now will be with you forever. Nothing changes until something changes.

Your friend on the road to the good stuff,
Richard