Thanks so much Sannah and Abby for your reply to me. Thank you so so much, I needed your replies and hugs.

Abby- your post really touched me and Im glad you posted. It means so much to me. When I post things, epecially if its personal, I wonder what I could be thinking by saying this stuff in public. Its anonymous, but I wonder why I am writing it and if anyone is reading it and why would they care anyway. I know that feelings of getting entwined then wanting to run. Like I have nothing to say anyway and I get very involved in someone's story and begin to care about online friends I have never met. Its kind of a strange thing here, anonymous, but if youre on long enough, it loses some of that anonymous feel. If that makes sense. I like when you post, too. I hope you will post more often. I think I have been on some kind of break or something these past few days from the PT forum. I have been feeling triggery...not that its anyone's fault. Anything can make me feel sad.

I understand the coffee break thing. I do need some "me" time. I feels selfish to even say that. I think i may have even written a Starbucks post. How much a cup of decaf does for me, just to sit and think my own thoughts. I love coffee, but I dont think it loves me. I had a reaction to coffee (decaf) this morning and I couldnt go to see ftt. I was so upset about not being able to go to therapy. I will go post on the therapy board.

Anyway, your reponse to me meant a lot. Its so hard to be in this alone place and not know what to say or where to turn.