Mary if your mom is still around, why not give her a call and ask her. It could be that you want to know if she loves you. My dad was pretty much out of my life. He passed a year, year in half after I started talking to him. I was so angry with him for not being in my life. At one point in my life I hated him. There was one time I had to live with him, and that was right after my mom passed. His wife at the time was awful. My mom and dad fought so bad, that even after my mother was dead, I had to live with my dad (his wife) calling my mom everything, but her name. I was 15 at the time. Well I ended up pregnant, and had a misscarriage. I lied to my dad, because I wanted out of the house so bad. That is the ex that I married, and had all my kids with. After that, he walked out on me again, and when me and the ex split up, and my dad was divorced from this wicked woman. I sent him a Christmas Card giving him my phone number. (ten years without ever seeing my dad), He called me up. I had somewhat of a relationship with him. There was no bonding. To make a long story short. I ran into some problems, and he let me live with him. After I moved in with him, there was one point that I blew up on him for never being there in my life. He told me that he was sorry. I mean I really riped into his @$$. I had always kept it bottled up, and I was pissed off over the fact that I had to hear his bull after mom was gone. After that I forgave him. I needed to know that he loved me, and he really did. Up until that time that I went off on him, I treated him like crap, even while I lived with him. This is why I'm telling you to ask your mom. If might just help you in the long run. It did me. One more thing that I forgot to tell you. My parents would flip if they were alive. We literally buried them right beside each other. That is our pay back to them for all the hell that they put us threw. lol