I didn't just get up and walk out of session I talked and drawed about my feelings, I stayed until the end, T urged me to reconsider and think of not quitting, so i am pretty sure that T knows i wont be coming back.
I will call her in the new year to tie ends up and get closure but not really able to do it right now. thanks for the hugs and care.
I am happy if people want to ask questions its ok with me.