I have no love, she is in love with another, who happens to be in London right now, have you any idea how hard it is talking to the one you love about the guy that she loves and telling you right to your face that she loves him more than any1 else, its just so hard, I don't know what to do, I spoke to brendas best friends and asked her what she had said about me and she told me that it was nothing bad, which means it was all good I hope, can I really trust what she says,I mean people lie to me all the time what would make this situation any different right? Its just that I love her so much that I can not bear life with out her by my side and every day it gets harder to go on without her, I know she said that she will always be there for me but I just feel so lost in this world without her. She told me that she would never leave me and that we will always be friends, and I wish I could believe her but at times like this I sumtimes wonder if what she was just for benifit and not for our friendship. She is the most beautiful girl in the whole world, she has this great voice that when she speak I'm lost in her every word and her laugh is but the most cutest thing because when she laughs she sumtimes snorts a little and I think that its the most cutest thing ever, and when she smiles it makes my heart jump because when she does smile it means she is happy and then I'm happy, my God do I love and I just wish that she would love me back, before her my life was worthless you now, and then after I met her things started to go right for the first time ever and I told myself every day not to fall in love her and for awhile it worked but then after she got angry with and stopped talking to me I realised that no matter how hard I try I love her, she is the reason I get up in the morning and the on;y reason why I am still alive today because if I killed myself then she would have been even more angry with than what she was, I just wish that she could know how I truly feel about her, she knows that I love her and that she means everything to me, but she doesn't know how much she really means to me and how much I really do love her, she is my life and without her I am nothing and if I ever lose her I would just die, because then there would be no life. I sumtimes wonder what it would be like to be with her but then I realise that if we did get together I would ***** it up as I always do with everything else in my life, I would drive her away as I am doing now with my love, I would get jealous and paranoid about everthing and then my mind would start playing tricks on me and I would start suspecting every1 around me of trying to break us up because they want her and in the end she would be driven away because of what I have done, she means the world to me and without her I am nothing.