sannah you have a good memory. yes she treated the boys better. Not the greatest or even close but she did treat them better. You may be right about how I feel. IM not sure really. The shrink yesterday told me that PTSD is curable but its hard work and meds can help but I can get better with out them which is the best way, and I just left and fell apart. I was like I am a dime a dozen client in a public mental health agency. If I dont stay on top of things I will fall through the cracks. I want some one to say this is what were going to do for today. Just take some pressure off of me,
Good news though last night I had a flashback and it made me puke and I was on my bed just staying still so that nothing could trigger me and my new friend (about 5 months) but she is my best friend came over since i wasnt returning her calls last night and she sat on my bed and hugged me and I cried. I got comfort. I allowed it to happen. I didnt push it away. Then we started to talk and I kept saying go home I hate you and she said awwwww I love you to stephanie..lol. It was healing. I allowed real intense comfort in a very bad spot. That is amazing for me.