My father went to the oncologist yesterday, and she seems to be pleased with his progress. The main worrisome thing is that he has lost weight. My mother says it is because he is not eating enough, but I suspect it is more due to cancer.
I also saw my T yesterday. I told her about my fears of the future, and that my not taking care of myself is my wish not to live much beyond my parents. Today I am feeling better. I think I am finally getting to the core of my problems, which I have tried to ignore for years.